Alpha Male Movie Award II

Hello my friends,

I apologise for disappearing. It's the same old shit (pardon my language). Life just dimmed out for me during this awful period. Good news is I'm BACK! :)

Two weeks ago, Rich Boy gave out a super cool award to Goose but he had to pass (something about his mom's creative block). Also, after having some time to think, we decide it is best to nominate 5 (alpha) males each time to make sure the award passes along efficiently and that every paw and tail with balls, in blogville can receive this honour in no time at all. Also, any paw or tail reading this are also award winners!!! The more the merrier! Please see details of the award here.

So, I'm calling upon the Mighty Alpha Male of all, Rich Boy to give his speech.

Yoooh, mates!

Rich here. It is an honour to be put on this pedestal again. I am awarding 5 super dooper cool blokes for this award on this beautiful Monday evening. Buddies, hear me out: wear this badge proudly, because, regardless of what your human(s) and vet did to you, this badge gives you back your cojones! Woof!Woof!Woof! BOL. 

The 5 award winners are...

(Drum roll.....)

1) Zim-Zim (you nailed it with those shots of your shades, pal) and Dave from Army of Four Digest

2) Mayor Frankie Furter and Sarge, for their creative energy and dedications to enriching blogville.

3) My God, Bert! and my sister's biggest crush, Allred from Four Legged Views

4) The sweetest doodles, Murphy and Stanley we get to watch growing up

5) The scientist, Bouncing Bertie! (my other bros, Darwin and Einstein voted for you. I wonder why)

6) YOU, if you are reading this and feeling creative, Write us a story, make us happy.  

In the spirit of creativity, I will share one more story with you which is in line with the requirement for this award (again, see here). My mum promised a while back ago to tell this story but who better than me to spill all the details of my 'torture' in Guantanamo jail! 

(theme song from Forrest Gump playing)

It was my first week being in my new home. My human at the time (now she has earned the honour to be my mum) was so inexperienced, she used negative reinforcement to train me. My previous human (more like monsters in disguise as pet shop owners!) told her to do that and she stupidly listened. I never had a normal puppyhood, you see. I was locked up in a cage for 10 months and was constantly being experimented on. They cropped my tail so short, constantly shaved my hair to create this super curly-hair-look people demand in poodles and they had an Indonesian maid pulling hair out of my ears with her bare hands! They gave me up when I barked too much. SO glad those days are over! 

So, my mum adopted me. She didn't know my past until much later. Of course, my first few nights in my new home, everything was so exciting, I had to bark and howl. Freedom is so liberating, I had to have my voice heard, right? My mum was so mad, she stormed out from her bedroom looking like this: 

Photo taken from http://imnsho.us/2012/07/28/on-the-subject-of-women/angry-woman-relationship/

She took a cane and was about to hit me. No, she didn't have the balls to do it (smirk). She just faked it by hitting the floor several times, making that scary sound. Still, I was terrified!!! I almost peed my pants (Yes, she made me wear pants too at that time). Then, she grabbed me and locked me inside this Pandora box. The box is so scary, it is like that cube in the movie Cube. There was just no way out! 

I hear they call it a toilet but I call it HELL or how about Guantanamo Jail? I felt so claustrophobic. I panicked! 

A scene from the movie Cube. He looks exactly like how I was feeling at the time. TRAPPED!

 

I just had my freedom and a home, and real LOVE. Don't take all these away from me just because I did what all dogs do. It was just a few barks! Well, I scratched at that wall for maybe like an ETERNITY before she let me out. Then, she hugged me and told me never to disturb her sleep. I never step my paws into that box, ever again, even when they place treats in there. Puppyhood nightmare, man! BUT I continue to disturb their sleep be on guard when everyone else is asleep.

Now, go pass on my award and make me a happy man-dog. I know my mum will be very proud too. 

Cheers mate!

Rich Boy

Cube is a very under-rated, Canadian-made movie, with a very low budget but extremely effective and absolutely a joy to watch. Do give it a try if you have not seen it. 

Again, I am taking this opportunity to promote CL's blog which is all about movies, mostly bad ones e.g. The Twilight Saga (eyes-rolling). He spends a lot of time thinking up good lines and funny jokes that I don't really know how to appreciate. Hehe. As you can tell by now, I am only into good movies. I guess the least I can do is help him promote it. 

Sankissjuice

PS: Sasa is determined to start her very own award just for divas. So hang on there, ladies. We'll be awarding you something glamorous soon.